Whether one lives near to or far from an older adult, the same challenges and questions apply. What level of care does my loved one need? Can my loved one stay at home? Should my loved one go to an adult residence or day care program?

Susan W’s mom was being discharged from the hospital on Tuesday. A loving daughter but also a busy executive, Susan knew mom shouldn’t be left alone at home – but Susan’s schedule meant she couldn’t be there with mom. Desperate, Susan asked her mom’s doctor for a referral. He directed Susan to the hospital discharge planning department where they gave her “the list”…….. a long list in neat alphabetical order. “Which one do you think I should call”?”, asked Susan. “Oh, we can’t tell you that.” the discharge planner informed her. “You’ll have to make your own decisions.”

Recently, in the Chicago Tribune, Gail MarksJarvis wrote an excellent article about having “the talk”. She pointed out that eventually mom and dad may need help with their finances and it’s best to get the mechanics set up long before it becomes urgent. She quoted Suzanne Schmitt, VP of family engagement for Fidelity, “It’s a bit of an ostrich syndrome. Older adults are afraid of losing control over how they spend.”